How a truth word can save your relationship
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Communication is the most important aspect of any relationship. Effective communication helps to establish trust and respect, whilst promoting honesty and transparency. Communication comes in many forms including: words, body language, intonation and touch. All of this information can often be difficult to process in one go and allows lots of room for misunderstanding/misinterpretation. Particularly if you’re also feeling a little emotional, haven’t caught up on your beauty sleep or are just plain hangry.
Good communication draws on characteristics such as honesty, empathy, tactfulness and equally; listening. The difficulty between the sexes is the desired outcome of a conversation. Often women just want to be listened to, whilst men require a solution (If you've read men are from mars, women are from venus, you'll get it). Whilst this generalisation may be outdated in terms of gender stereotypes, this difference in communication can cause conflict, with both sides left dissatisfied and often hurt.
Usually we don't express ourselves adequately when we don't want to hurt someone elses feelings, which would be followed by an associated feeling of guilt. Sometimes arguments can happen when there is just a simple misunderstanding when we don't ask for clarity. For example, if you're not sure if someone is joking or you want your partner to take you seriously. Sarcasm is a prime example here. Misunderstandings can develop into feelings of insecurity if not addressed quickly.
When we first got together, my boyfriend suggested that we use a truth word to reduce the chance of this happeneing and to avoid miscommunication and upset.
What is a truth word?
A truth word is a word, that when asked, you have to answer truthfully. No joking or sarcasm allowed. This word should be something that you wouldn't necessarily use in everyday conversation, one you both agree on and it's nice if it means something to you both. Our truth word is 'goulash' because we got together in Budapest and that was a traditional dish there. We do sometimes sound a bit nuts when we drop it randomly into conversation!
How does a truth word work?
So here's an example...
Man: Do you like my shirt?
Woman: Yeah, it's great.
This reply could be taken in many ways. It could be: honest, sarcastic, indecisive, dismissive or a joke. All depending on the other aspects of communication.
So, if the truth word [goulash] is used you have to answer honestly.
Whilst this example is superficial, it also works well when you're having a deep and meaning conversation with topics that turly matter. This tactic may sound simple or even a bit silly but it's saved us from potential arguments a million times. It also stops my feet from being tickled. GOULASH, stop it!! I honestly believe that every couple should have a truth word and use it to make their relationship the strongest it's ever been.
Affirmation:
At the end of every blog post, I leave you with an affirmation; this one is relating to communication. The idea is that you say them every day and create new pathways in your brain to promote a positive mindset. Please feel free to save it to your phone, use it as a screensaver or pin it for later.
Thank you for reading!
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