10 simple tips to Cope with change
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When you’re in a dark place, you think you’ve been buried but actually you’ve been planted. - Christine Caine.
I love this quote. In fact, I posted it in my Facebook group this week and it inspired me to write a blog post about it.
As a Life coach and Physiotherapist, I’m really passionate about change; both in terms of behaviour and physical ability. What I’ve found, in myself and with many of my clients, is that we’re resistant to change; especially when someone tells us what to do. We have to discover it for ourselves and the process is the most important part. I personally have been through a transformation of change - you can read my story here.
Change is the one thing that is consistent in our lives. The seasons, the tide, our age, trends. The world is constantly changing and we have to keep adapting to keep up. However, naturally it sparks our defensive mode which means that we act out of fear, anger or self-preservation.
Our brains are hardwired to do exactly what we have done in the past because it's kept you alive so far and 'change' can jeopardise the balance. Our primitive instinct detects change as a threat to our survival, which stimulates the fight or flight response. Helpful in caveman times when faced with an angry predator, not so helpful in the 21st century when you’re trying to navigate a break-up!
We can't always choose the circumstances we will experience; relationships will break down, jobs will be lost, people will die; but you can always choose how you deal with them. Building up your resilience will allow you to better cope with these situations
Every challenge in life prepares you for the next one and every mistake is a lesson learnt. This chapter in your life is setting you up for the next one, trust in the process. You can go through it or grow through it.
You can go through it or grow through it.
Let’s say you’ve chosen to walk away from a relationship that’s no longer serving you or you’ve handed your notice in to a job that doesn’t inspire you. Is this quitting or a brave leap of faith? Moving on or a change in circumstance doesn't mean that you’ve failed. When one door closes, another one opens and sometimes it's more risky, to your personal development and mental health, to stay where you are. Don’t feel guilt or shame. Be proud of yourself for having the courage to intentionally step forwards and prioritise yourself.
Benefits of being thrust into change:
You can either chose to experience change or it can be forced upon you e.g. redundancy or an unwanted break-up. Sometimes there are benefits to someone else making this decision for you:
You don't have a choice and it forces you to take action when you wouldn't have otherwise. It might be that kick up the ass that you needed but were too scared or unsure to take a chance.
It allows you to feel your full spectrum of emotions. Everything in life is transient. Low points don't last but they are a part of the journey.
Change forces you to flourish and lets us see what we’re capable of. You’re stronger than you think and more resourceful than you know.
It gives us a challenge to pursue and a sense of purpose. Challenge is one of our 5 forward drives which allows us to live a charged life (Brendan Burchard, The charge).
Top tips to cope with change:
Here are some top tips when dealing with change. Don’t try all of these in one go, otherwise you’ll feel overwhelmed, you may have to re-visit this list…that’s okay. Pin it on Pinterest so you can keep coming back to it.
Start where you are
Don't expect yourself to be any further along than you are at this present moment. You're exactly where you need to be to start your journey of growth and self-discovery. Comparing yourself to others won’t move you any further along, remember; everyone is on their own personal journey.
Start with the basics
Sleep, nutrition and movement. Get these right and you'll have a good basis for the rest. Focus on small changes to begin with and experience early success. This will get you into the mindset of setting small challenges and accepting change as a part of your life. Use my lifestyle planner to help with these small changes - since using it, we’ve saved £30 a week on shopping and I’m much better hydrated!
Create a positive environment
When you look around your house, do you see a reflection of you? Surround yourself with the things that you love. Subconsciously we pick up on aspects of our environment which can change our behaviour. There is a whole science behind this about how we can 'nudge' ourselves towards behaviour change (Richard Thaler and Cass Sunstein). How often does the smell of freshly baked bread or shop window displays change your behaviour?
Spark your creativity.
As humans, we strive for creative expression to communicate and put our stamp on the world. This could be through things such as; music, artwork, writing or fashion. There are so many benefits to creativity, so many I wrote an entire blog post on it - find it here!
Have a dream, find your passion.
Dreams take time and there is a sense of satisfaction and achievement in consistency. Dreams are different to goals. Dreams inspire you and light a fire underneath you. They are the bigger picture and allow you to visualise how you want your life to look. Goals are the action steps to get you there.
Choose your outlook
You can choose to change your current emotional state. You can literally think yourself happy. The more you reinforce the pathways of positivity in your brain, the easier it becomes.
If somethings broken
If something is broken, fix it or buy a new one. If it’s messy, tidy it up. Leaving items broken or your environment in disorder is an act of self-neglect and signals that you’re happy to accept less than you deserve. Fix up, tidy up and show up to your life every day.
Invest in yourself
It’s important to invest in yourself in terms of time, money and knowledge. ‘Me-time’ is essential for headspace and restoration, in a world of chaos, find your calm. This may require money; indulging yourself with a manicure or spa day is a great idea every now and again. The most important thing to invest in is knowledge. The more you know and understand about you, your situation and your options, the more in control you will feel. Why not start today and get this mini-course - 8 simple steps of self-discovery to define your values and release your inner superwoman!
Have a support system
It’s important to have a group of people that can offer help and advice if you need it. Some people like to use friends and family, whilst others need professional help to guide them in the right direction, and that's okay! As a life coach, it’s my passion to help others see their potential and it's a privilege to watch them flourish. If you're looking for guidance, reach out to me and let's get you on the right path.
Reconnect with yourself and others
Often, when we go through difficult situations, we can feel like we’ve lost ourselves. This is the time to pause and reconnect with yourself. Figure out who you are, what you want and what you need to implement to support yourself. It’s also a great time to reinvest in those relationships that took a back seat.
Thank you for reading!
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