Is your cup overflowing?

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I've seen it time and time again both personally and in other people. We continue on the treadmill of life, facing all of its challenges until all of a sudden everything becomes too overwhelming and we want to curl up and hibernate indefinitely. Who gets me?

Stress can be super helpful and allow us to focus in times of high pressure, like playing a sporting final. But when it's left unchecked it can do all kinds of funky things to our mind and body. Sometimes it's hard to acknowledge your stress levels until you're heading towards burnout. It can also feel more overwhelming during the time of the month - yay for women! The app clue is a great way of tracking your menstrual cycle (especially for those of us who don't bleed) and to mentally psych yourself up for a few days of; spontaneous crying, binging chocolate and hugging your hot water bottle as if your life depends on it.

What are the symptoms of stress?

Emotional and mental:

• Withdrawing

• Worry

• Low mood

• Lack of motivation

• Constantly feeling on edge

• Racing thoughts

• Anger or irritability

• Feeling overwhelmed

• Difficulty making decisions

• Forgetfulness or lack of concentration

Physical:

• Fatigue

• IBS

• Headaches

• Dizziness

• Muscle tension

• Pain

• Pins and needles sensation

• Excessive sweating

• Shortness of breath

• Feeling sick

• Chest pain or a fast heartbeat

Behavioural

• Fidgeting, biting nails, pulling hair, picking skin around your nails

• Reduced sex drive

• Eating more or less than usual

• Destructive habits such as smoking, drugs or drinking

• Trouble sleeping (sleep hacks here)

The only symptom I experienced was a severe fatigue. I would come home from work and sleep for 12 hours. I literally felt like someone had pulled my plug out and my battery was flat. I had multiple blood tests and the Doctor finally suggested that it was stress. My body was literally shutting down and telling me it needed to recover.

The cup analogy

Here's a practical example of how we cope with stress. You have a cup. This cup represents your body and mind's capacity for stress. You also have a jug of water and this represents the stresses in life. Daily stresses such as: work, paying the bills, running a household and managing your social life, all add small amounts of water to your cup.

If you then have a really stressful event such as; losing a loved one, a break-up, not getting a job that you really wanted or revising for a really important exam, this adds a large amount of water to your cup and can cause it to overflow.

You may also find that if you have a prolonged period of stress, such as: being in an unhappy relationship, not enjoying your job, living as a single mum with no support, being bullied or taking on too much, this consistently drips water into your cup, causing it to overflow over time. The point at which your cup overflows is when your body and mind no longer have the capacity to cope with the amount of stress you're experiencing and it can lead to burnout. Some people may also experience symptoms of closely related conditions such as anxiety and depression. With the worst symptoms culminating in suicidal thoughts or actions.

The key is to always have space at the top of your cup to allow a buffer for any new stresses that life may throw your way and to address those consisent stresses as soon as possible to avoid reaching breaking point.

How do I manage my stress?

You can do this by creating a daily routine or reinforcing your healthy habits. Here's 6 examples which you can try:

• Journalling - This is the practice of writing down your thoughts and feelings to allow for self-reflection. It can help to provide clarity and insight into your character and values. I use my journal as a blank canvas and it contains all sorts, including: free writing about thoughts and emotions, goals, gratitude lists and creative ideas. I'm also very much a visual person so it's full of doodles and spider diagrams! If you prefer to keep things on your phone, some nice apps are presently and reflectly which give you daily prompts to assess how you're feeling and create gratitude lists.

• Mindfulness and meditation — Mindfulness is about purposefully remaining in the present moment, without judgement if your mind wanders. A good way to start out is to focus on your breath. You may find that other thoughts pop into your head, that's okay, acknowledge them, send them on their way and come back to your breath. Try doing these in sitting or, I can confirm from personal experience, you will most likely wake up 2 hours later on your living room sofa feeling disorentated and confused. Some great apps that can provide guided meditations are: Insight timer, Calm, Headspace (currently free for NHS workers) and Smiling Mind.

• Morning routine - A morning routine should be individual and not overwhelming. It doesn't have to mean that you wake up at the crack of dawn and complete 30 tasks before your working day starts. It is a habitual set of actions that get you ready for the day. This could be as simple as; getting out of bed on your first alarm, drinking a glass of water and listing 5 things your grateful for. Easy. Try my free printable PDF planner to stick to these daily habits.

• Affirmations - These are short positive statements, which you say out loud with conviction, to declare your character and positive attributes. If you want a suggested list see this post, I also add an affirmation to the bottom of each of my blog posts.

• Talking - People often find it difficult to articulate the way that they feel. Expressing your feelings could be as simple as chatting with a friend and getting advice, to a more structured form such as councelling or life coaching. Whichever way works for you, keep doing it!

• Organisation - For me, organisation and time management are my weakest points. My friends will always tell me to arrive 30 minutes earlier and I've even had to set my phone time to 10 minutes fast because I'm always late! Does anyone else do that?

  I find that organising my tasks and writing to do lists was my way of coping, I had them stuck everywhere! Then I discovered trello. This app is amazing for organising tasks; particularly in a team or family setting.

For more resources that you may find helpful, click here. If you're concerned that you, or someone you know, are reaching burnout and need someone to speak to; call the free samaritans line on 116 123.

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Thank you for reading!

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