The power of living life vulnerably
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Being vulnerable is a scary thought. It's like standing naked in front of a crowd of people and holding your breath in anticipation of judgement. Essentially being vulnerable means that you are bearing your naked soul.
Vulnerability is often first thought of with negative connotations and is commonly used as a description for weakness. For example; when I googled the definition for the term 'vulnerability', this is what came up:
1. Capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt, as by a weapon: a vulnerable part of the body.
2. Open to moral attack, criticism, temptation, etc.: an argument vulnerable to refutation; He is vulnerable to bribery. (dictionary.com)
What this definition doesn't account for is that being vulnerable also allows you to experience: intense happiness, gratitude, excitement, surprise and love, whilst opening new doors of opportunity.
Let's get this straight. Vulnerability isn't a weakness. In fact it's a sign of extreme courage that you're able to live life with your heart on your sleeve and open yourself up to the world. To stand resolutely and unapologetically say to the world 'this is me' is an incredible accomplishment. Not many people can do that.
As humans we thrive off relationships and emotion. Ultimately, we want to make an emotional connection with a partner to reproduce and maintain our survival. To form these deep, long lasting relationships we need emotions such as honesty, trust and love; which all come from a place of vulnerability. To deny these emotions is to close the door on truth.
There is a term which Dr Brene Brown (Research professor at the university of Houston) uses called the vulnerability paradox. A person will often think vulnerability is 'the first thing I look for in you, and the last thing I want you to see in me'. We want to experience all of the above traits from other people but don't want to expose ourselves for fear of being hurt. Fear of rejection. Success is one step through the door of rejection.
Children do it best. Look at how exciting their lives are!! Every day is an adventure, filled with new discovery and unquestionable love. Do you think they ever stop to think 'I don't think I'll ever be able to walk so I just won't try'. No. They are resilient and innovative. They stare failure in the face and think I'm going to try that again'.
But how do I live like this? How do I accept vulnerability as a part of my life? Good questions. Here are 8 things you can do to help you live vulnerably:
1. Know that whatever the outcome, you are worthy. There is only one of you in the universe, you have every right to exist and you're exactly where you need to be.
2. Don't focus on the outcome, focus on the journey and lessons learned along the way. Sometimes we can get so fixated on the end goal that we forget to absorb all of the ups and downs along the way. Small acts of kindness can be missed and the beauty of the world passed by.
3. Use disappointment and failure as a lesson learnt. Failure is the fastest way to success and everyone needs to feel it. If you don't, you're not moving anywhere.
4. Be kind to yourself. Show compassion and love yourself for who you are. We all make mistakes, let them go and learn from them. Listen to your instincts - they're usually right.
5. Be kind to others. Listen without judgement and show an interest in their life. Don't be afraid to ask difficult questions because within that lies a deeper intimacy.
6. Love with your whole heart without guarantee. Give people the emotion that you would like to receive regardless of whether you get it back. This kind of energy is infectious and, as explained by the law of attraction, it's bound to come back around. The best person in the world at doing this is a dog. Have you ever noticed how excited they are to see you??
7. Increase your tactile presence - a hand on someones arm, a high five in the corridor or reach out and give someone a hug instead of liking their social media post.
8. Not apologising for the way you feel. You have every right to feel the way that you do. Don't be ashamed of your emotions. When we bottle them up or try to ignore them; that's when we run into trouble.
9. Speak up. If you're not happy or you can feel those uncomfortable feelings of anxiety or worry, ask yourself 'what is bothering me?'. If you're in a calm headspace, discuss the issue. If you need to take some time out to collect your thoughts, that's okay too. Just make sure you address it. Most of the time it's never as bad as what you think it's going to be.
10. Have the strength to walk away. If you are in a relationship that is no longer empowering, supportive or enhancing your life, you have the choice to stay or leave. You can't change someone else's actions but you can choose who you spend your time with.
By embracing vulnerability you will have more intense life experiences and it will help you to live outside of your comfort zone.
I'm full of flaws. I'm stubborn and can get defensive when people offer suggestions to help. I hold grudges and work actively to forgive people. When asked a question that I'm not 100% confident about, I'd rather say I don't know than get it wrong. I don't speak my mind often enough and when I'm stressed I bite my nails. Typical Scorpio bio!
I'm slowly breaking down my walls to live vulnerably. I'm not perfect at it but I'm learning. I love that I cried hysterically at the last episode of how I met your mother or that I had an unstoppable laughing fit at an aqua park (for at least 15 minutes!). I like that girl and so do people I meet.
I urge you to master this great act of fearlessness because the benefits are so rewarding. Let your guard down, break your barriers and live life with no regrets. Let's see where this takes us...
Thank you for reading!
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