Why we need social connection and the 10 best ways to achieve it - Part 2
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In the last blog post I explained the 3 main types of social connection and how we can use our biology to improve our interactions. In this post we’re going to explore how to form these intimate connections with the people around us to build our social network and have more fulfilling relationships.
As a re-cap, the 3 main types of connection are: social, internal and our ability to connect with nature. Below, we’re focussing on the first 2 types and how to elevate our fulfilment in this area of our lives. We all know the basics such as, good communication and listening but sometimes, we’re there without really being there. We often miss the small fleeting moments to really take our relationships to the next level and deepen our connection with one another. These suggestions may seem obvious but it’s surprising how many time we miss these simple things when we’re too busy or maybe just oblivious to the situation around us…it’s great to have a gentle reminder.
How to form intimate connections:
Don’t just listen. Really listen.
What does this mean? It’s not just hearing their words, it’s putting the tech down, making eye contact and giving someone your full attention. Responding appropriately, not interrupting or talking about yourself. This person in front of you has taken their time to seek your advice or comfort, you are not too busy to give them yours. It’s the ultimate compliment as it’s the one commodity you won’t get back.
Random acts of kindness
Show someone you care by doing something that shows you really know them on a deeper level and have taken your time to think about them. This could be something as simple as sending them a card, buying them some flowers or calling round for a cuppa! It's the small touches where we can have the biggest impact.
Say yes to new experiences together
Trying new things is great but sharing that experience with another person is even better. It creates a lifelong memory and topic of conversation that is shared only between those who were present. Have you noticed that telling a story never seems the same as reliving it with someone who was there?
Have a joint goal
When you’re working together towards a joint goal it gives you a sense of companionship and achievement. It’s important to maintain your individual aspirations whilst having an objective as a twosome. Having a joint goal means that you’re walking in the same direction in life whilst not falling into the trap of becoming one entity. It’s both healthy, fun and energising to have a goal and direction between the two of you. Why not try creating some goal jars between you?
Be individual whilst being a team
Social connection doesn’t mean that you have to be the same person, have the exact same interests or do everything together. It should be fulfilling on both sides and allow you to flourish as the individual that you are whilst maintaining a close connection to the other person. Differences are healthy and it doesn’t mean that you’re not compatible, just because you like different things. We just need to learn to understand the other person a little better.
Be their biggest cheerleader
Cultivate friendships with people who help you to grow. The best way to be around friends who help you grow is to be this person yourself. Always offer your support in any way you can; be that praise or constructive feedback. We rise by lifting others and watching someone grow will give you both a sense of fulfilment. Have their back, cheer them on and celebrate in their success.
Show your appreciation
The same way that affirmations work, we can reinforce people’s good behaviour/qualities with positive feedback loops by telling them how great they are! Compliment someone on their character and values, not their external appearance, acknowledge when they’ve done a good job and thank them for their efforts. Project positive traits onto others and let them live into them.
Accept each other’s uniqueness and individuality
We’re not all born to be the same. The odds of being born are about one in 400 trillion! It’s no accident that you are the way you are. Acknowledging someone’s strengths and seeing them as an equal means that you learn from them and react in an understanding way, instead of acting out of scarcity and becoming defensive.
Communication
I’m not talking about superficial conversation here. How well do you know your friends and family? Could you tell me their dreams and aspirations or their deepest fears? Do you know what they need when they’re stressed or scared? How do they need you to support them and do they know this about you?
I often have deep and meaningful’s with my partner (so some reason, it’s usually in a supermarket carpark?!) but these honest and vulnerable conversations help us to understand each other on a new level. We bought a book called ‘Eight dates to keep your relationship happy, thriving and lasting’. It’s a fab way to get these conversations started. We also use a truth word to which the other person has to answer honestly - read here to find out more.
Ask for help
This is often one of the hardest things to do but you can't do it on your own, you need that support network. If you’re looking for like-minded people to build up your friendship group, we have an amazing community of women over in our Facebook group as a great place to start! Come and join us :)
Thank you for reading!
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